Synchronicity

I was feeling particularly homesick for Charleston today. Probably because my parents just left after a week-long visit which isn't long enough. Just when I get cozy and comfortable having them close by again, whoosh, they are gone!

Also, maybe because my friend Emily had a baby today and I don't get to see him (the baby.)

Also perhaps because my friend Arlie died after a long, hard fight with ALS and I'm not around all the people who knew him to reminisce and mourn and celebrate his life. I won't be there for his memorial service. No outlet to say goodbye and remember and honor him.

Also because the Cooper River Bridge Run is Saturday. The first one on the new bridge. Last year when I did the last one on the old bridge with my friend Deirdre we talked about doing the first one on the new bridge. Deirdre is doing it. Go girl!

So, I was having all of these thoughts about home and family and friends and Charleston while I was walking Lucy and I looked down and saw a quarter in the grass. Now, I don't usually pick up quarters off the ground, you know germs and all, but something made me bend down to get it and I looked at it and almost keeled over. It was a South Carolina quarter. Weird, huh? There are 50 state quarters, not to mention the ones that don't even have states on them and I found a South Carolina one just when I was pining for home.

OK. It gets more synchronicitous (is that a word?). I went to get Lucy some dog food at a place I've never been. I noticed there was a frame shop next door and I've been carrying around the page that was made for me and I was given on my last day at the P&C, needing to get it framed forever.

So, I popped into the frame store. I get to talking with the guy, Lee, very nice and he looks at my page and notices it says Oldest Paper in the South or something like that. So he says, "Where in the south?" I told him Charleston. "I'm from Columbia," he says. Long story short, we have a great talk and now he is practically framing my page for free simply because we are kindred South Carolinians.

I love it when stuff like that happens. It put a much-needed smile on my face!

It's Over

I turned on my TV at 2:30 p.m. today. It felt weird, like I was doing something clandestine.

What happened was, I was up again all night with poor little Lucy and I knew that if I didn't take a nap, I'd never make it to my Artist's Way class, which by the way I'm so glad I didn't miss because it was a great class. Anyway, I knew I was going to sleep and it just so happened when I went to take a nap it was 2:30 and I thought, "Hmm. I'll just see what's happened on 'Passions' since I've been gone."

So I turned it on and guess what? I was bored silly. It was the same day in Harmony as when I had turned it off over a week ago. They were still wearing the same clothes, still talking about the same things, still having the same soap opera crises. This is what I've been wasting my time on? Yuck! I turned it off.

My synchronicity tonight was at class a guy came and did singing exercises with us, Jami Lula is his name. Now some of it was the silliest stuff I've ever done in my life and at one point I got a bad case of the giggles but at the end of class he sang a song and the refrain went, "I will not waste another minute of my life." I hadn't put it into those words when I turned the TV back off this afternoon, but when I heard him sing it, I knew it was talking to me.

Now, will I waste another minute of my life? Most probably. But will I try to be more cognizant of my time? Most certainly. I hope that if I am wasting time, I am doing it purposefully. Meaning, I will have thought to myself, "Yes, I could be doing something more productive right now, but what I feel I need is to do nothing. To veg out. To waste some time." And hopefully, more often than not I will say to myself, "Could I be doing something more productive with my time" and then choose to do it. But whichever way I go, it will be a considered choice - not just escapism, laziness or habit.

And surprise, surprise. When I got in the car after class tonight. I turned on the radio which was still on the classical music station and I left there. Guess what? I like classical music. Not all of it of course, but I don't like all rock music either. And I learned a lot about classical music this week, heard different composers, different orchestras and I even listened to a whole opera.

And guess what else? When I got home from class tonight, I didn't turn on the TV. I didn't turn anything on except the computer to write this. And tonight when I go to bed, I'm taking a book with me. Now I may watch "The Daily Show." But then off will go the TV again and the book will be opened. I may read one page, I may read a chapter or the whole book. I may even open the book and stare into space. But I won't be watching TV.

If I get nothing out of this class other than the experience of turning off the TV and learning to live without it and use my time more productively and creatively, it will all have been worth it. I have learned so much from this experience and while I dreaded this assignment and thought I could never do it when it was handed out, I've loved every minute of it. Even the hard moments. And yes, I would do it again. And I just might!

At Last

This is what I did this week instead of watching TV and reading and surfing the net and listening to NPR.
It is not exactly what it started out to be but I finished a piece and now I have the materials to do some more and loads of ideas from clearing my mind of the unusable detritus that had been clogging it up.
Yay for me!

36 Hours and counting....

Didn't post last night. It was a bad night. Lucy has been, excuse my pun, sick as a dog. So much so I almost took her to the emergency vet last night but decided to see how she was this morning. She's still not feeling well, but is much better. I continue to monitor her, poor baby. You've never seen anything more pathetic. It's so sad.

So, up all night with Lucy and let me tell you how many times I thought to myself - "No one will fault me for breaking the fast to stay up with my puppy at 4 a.m." but I just couldn't do it. I couldn't turn on the TV. But what I did do was cheat just a little. I read my "52 Projects" book that Nikki got me for Christmas/Hanukah.

Now even though this is reading per se, I don't consider it full on cheating because it is a book about using and finding and experimenting with creativity. And it too advocates shutting off the tube. I wonder if the guy who wrote it ever took The Artist's Way because a lot of his philosophy is the same, just simplified. Anyway, reading this book just reaffirmed my reason for media fasting and for attempting to put a lid on the overuse of the mass media, TV in particular, when the fast is done.

And that would be tomorrow night!

My biggest concern now is should I read Us first or watch "The Sopranos" and "Grey's Anatomy" on Tivo first. Oh, and there's "The OC" and "Gilmore Girls" and "The Amazing Race"......

P.S. Speaking of "The Amazing Race," I think it's smarmy of CBS to charge to watch it On Demand. Even though it is only 99 cents, that is pretty crummy.

Opera Day - Uh-Oh

Little snag - the classical station only plays opera on Saturday. I hate opera. Must find another way ..................... Don't want to fall into the TV abyss...................

Oh and did I mention that blind date sent back the bottle of wine he ordered, said it was tart. Then ordered a whole other kind. Poor form, poor form. The waitress was shooting me surreptitious looks of pity.

Oh wait. When I went to get the link for the classical site, I saw that today's opera is Tchaikovsky. I love Tchaikovsky so maybe it won't be so bad. Phew! The spirit is working for me!

By the way, has anyone ever noticed that Smetana's, "Vltava," sounds a lot like Ha Tikvah? Or vice versa.

Crankiness Sets In

Double whammy today. It was pouring down rain. When it rains, all I want to do is curl up on the couch with my favorite blanket and read or watch a good "Law and Order" marathon. I'm not a rain person, it does something to my psyche. So it was hard to resist temptation but I did.

At this point, it's a test of will. As much as I'm appreciative of the lesson I've learned about the evils of television and as much as I now know I have spent too much time at the tube, I really want to watch some TV. There's nothing virtuous about my not watching. Now it's just a competition with myself. I set out out to not watch TV for a week and even if it kills me I will achieve this goal. But I'm already having visions of being blurry eyed on Tuesday from watching nonstop Monday night.

That said, I really don't think I will go back to my old ways. I don't think I can or even want to give it up all together but I do want to cut way back. I used to not have a TV in my bedroom and I read all the time before bed. Now (not this week, of course) I have gotten into the habit of setting the sleep timer and falling asleep to the TV. It got to the point where I felt I couldn't fall asleep without it. Now, I've learned I don't need the TV to fall asleep so I'm going to go back to reading before bedtime or writing in my journal.

The second part of the double whammy was the arrival of Us magazine number two. Why, oh why, did this have to be one of those weeks when two arrive in close proximity? It's a test. I put it on top of the other one. It will have to wait for another day.

Oh, and I guess it really was triple whammy because blind date made me want to break the fast. All I could think about the whole date was how I'd much rather be home, curled up with Lucy and a good book.

Internet dating sucks. Sucks majora. That's all I have to say on that topic. Except, did I mention that blind date kept his mirrored sunglasses on all evening (we were inside) so I looked at myself the whole date? I have to admit, I looked pretty good, I love my new outfit. But it was a little disconcerting and offputting, to say the least.

Tomorrow will be a big test of the media deprivation. It's my favorite NPR day. But I have to finish my painting and I have an idea for a new one so hopefully that will keep me occupied.

Oh, one more thing I've noticed from this experiment. Usually, when I'm fixated for hours in front of the TV, I'm on one end of the couch and Lucy is laying at my feet on the other end. Well, this week, I have not been on the couch and I can tell that Lucy is out of sorts. Not only has this affected my routine, but hers as well. She doesn't know why I'm not sitting with her and she's not sure where to settle herself. She doesn't like change.

Who does?

Is It Only Day Three???

I want my MTV!!! Not really because I don't watch MTV, well except for "My Super Sweet Sixteen" and sometimes I used to watch "Laguna Beach" but today has been a tough day.

Serious withdrawel and crankiness. I found myself looking longingly at the TV more than once and I even habitually went over and without thinking reached for the power button but stopped myself and turned on the radio instead.

It's definitely escapism and boredom that leads me to the TV. It was a slow day. I got up early and got most of my work done very early so then what? I worked on my art piece, I scanned some photos to use in another piece, stuff like that but it just wasn't cutting it. What to do while the glue was drying on my art piece, which I ruined, I might add but I think I can fix it. Or change it to something else. Whatever. I really wanted to watch TV, really, really wanted to watch TV. But I didn't!

What did I do instead? What all the tough girls do when the going gets rough - I went shopping for an outfit for my date tomorrow night (yes, I said date) and then I came home and took a power nap. OK. Here' s where I confess. I actually laid down and was staring into space and going completely crazy so I picked up a book. I was just going to read one essay in David Rakoff's new book. I figured that even though it was cheating, it would be OK because it might be inspirational and it's nonfiction. So I read a couple of pages, very good by the way, and then felt so guilty I stopped and that's when I napped.

I don't know if I'm going to make it the whole week without media, but I'm still going to try. I do know that I'm learning what a huge chunk of my time mass media, particularly TV, has taken of my life and regardless if I make it the whole week cold turkey, I will not, I repeat, I will not watch as much TV as I did before this week.

Not only am I loving listening to and learning about classical music but it is inspiring unlike TV ever is. When I have the music on, I feel like being creative, making something, doing something. When the TV is on, I just want to be in a prone position, zoning out, doing nothing, creating nothing, not thinking for myself.

And of course sometimes it is OK to go to that zone out place. Sometimes the mind needs a break. I know I do. But too much, way too much. I might have to treat myself like a kid and tell myself I'm only allowed a certain amount of TV a day. That will be interesting too, to see what I will choose.

I'll keep you posted.

Media Fast: Day Two

Oh, the humanity! Guess what arrived in the mail today. Yep. This week's Us magazine. Guess who's on the cover? Yep. My girl, Jessica. I immediately, well immediately after scanning the coverline, put it away to savor, err I mean flip through, next week.

Yesterday I remembered to cancel the LA Times for the week, but Us, well you know. I didn't cancel the Sunday NY Times because I figure I can read that Monday night when the fast is over.

So how's it going 48 hours in you ask? Well, I'll tell you. Not as bad as you might think. Once again the day was busy. I picked up Lucy's birthday and then went to Trader Joe's, where I bought some beautiful, bright yellow daffodils. They made me smile all the rest of the day.

After that I went back to the art store because I didn't like the paints I bought yesterday. I bought some new ones today as well as a palette and some interesting textured paper.

While there I saw a familiar face. You know how you think you know someone and start to say hi? I almost did that b/c we were on the same aisle looking at the same stuff then I realized she was an actress I had just seen in "Nine Lives." If you saw it, she was the one that wanted to see her father. She was also in "The Practice."

Anyway, so today, not so bad until that witching hour 8:30 p.m. I don't know why it is. I had a much easier time today just listening to the classical music, no TV, no newspaper, it was fine. I was a little anxious early in the afternoon when I wanted to sit down and rest with a book, but that passed. I cleaned my desk instead. Man, I shredded enough for a NYC ticker tape parade. It's much easier to work at my desk/kitchen table now.

But after dinner, steak I might add. I actually cooked steak and some asparagus risotto. Yumbo!! And since it's Lucy's birthday (have I mentioned that) I let her have some steak! I think this has been the best day of her life so far. But I digress.

So that after dinner period, where you are a little full, kinda tired and just want to vegetate on the couch for a few years in front of the tube. That is really hard. The key I think is having the supplies at hand to do something else. I think if I had not gone back to the art store and bought new paints, which I love by the way, I might have slid back.

I also printed out some photos for another project I want to start this week. It's also been hanging out there for awhile. So the trick is to be prepared and have something to work on that is interesting, fun, inspiring, entertaining, and will keep me going until bedtime.

I'm hanging in. Quite honestly, although I love my shows, it is the reading that is killing me. I can give up the TV but to not have reading in it's place is hard. But I'm adjusting and getting stuff done. (Although I do confess, I took a pretty substantial nap this afternoon. But I have cramps!) As my friend Richard said, "If I had to make the Sophie's Choice between books and TV, I'd definitely give up TV." He even has a 42" screen.

I did notice that today I did not look at the clock and think, "Hmmm. Oprah is on now" Or "Hmmm. It's almost time for Jon Stewart." Not once did I associate time with TV. I think that's a good sign.

Pushing forward to tomorrow.

24 Hours and counting

Day One: I wake up and look at the clock and think "Oh, good. Just in time to watch "Charmed." Then I remember - no TV. No problem. I turn on the radio to the classical music station I found last night and carry on. Sounds good, huh? No problem, huh?

Well, if I'd sat down to write this an hour ago it would have been a much different post. Just in the last hour, starting at about 8:30 p.m. I started to hit withdrawal. Not so much for the TV, although it is my favorite TV night, but even to curl up with a book. I don't know what to do with myself.

Here's one thing I learned. I don't have to wear my glasses at night if I stay home because I only need them in the house to watch TV.

Here's what I did today. I actually got a lot done without the TV to distract me. I paid bills this morning. Then I went to do some errands. I finally mailed the baby gifts to two friends who are due any day now. I literally have had these sitting in my apartment for almost the entire gestation period.

I took myself to lunch at the Farmer's Market. Red beans and rice, yummy. On the way in, I checked in my bag to make sure I had my notebook since I usually read when I eat alone and I knew I couldn't do that (even though last week's "New York Magazine" was in the car). I did and I felt relieved. Then I thought, "Maybe I won't write in my notebook. Maybe I"ll just observe." So I did. On the way out, I passed a newsstand and saw the cover of Life magazine. It was about this being the 25th anniversary of John Lennon's death. I stopped to thumb through but just as my hand reached for the magazine I remembered - "No, you can't" I said and by the expression on the faces of those nearby I think I said it aloud.

Then I ordered a birthday cake for Lucy from the doggie bakery. She will be 5 tomorrow. Happy Birthday Lucy Belle!

Next I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond to buy something I've been putting off for years - a magnifying mirror. I was in denial that I needed one until I stayed at my friend Mary's, who has the mac daddy of magnifying mirrors, and I saw hairs on my chinny chin chin that were longer than some on my head. YIKES!!!! So I bought one.

Then I went to the art supply store. Something I've been threatening to do for like 3 months. And I didn't go to no Michael's, a crafty store. I went to a real art supply store, for real artists. And here's the synchronicity of the day - they had stretched, primed canvases on sale for practically nothing. I bought some. And I bought some paint and some brushes. I've never painted in my life but recently have had a hankering too. So I will.

I took a stab and got a little bit down on canvas. I'm not sure if I like it. It's not what I was thinking of doing, it kinda morphed into something else but hey, it's a start! And tomorrow when I look at it, it might morph into something else. Who knows.

So that brought me to about 8:30 p.m. What to do now.

I plucked the hairs from my chinny chin chin. I started to boil water for pasta, then decided I didn't want pasta so I made a bagel. That is after looking in the refrigerator a million times. Then I sat down to write this post. I'm almost finished. It's only 9:30.

What will I do now?

Media Deprivation Week - Getting Started

The first thing I did when I came home from my Artist's Way class tonight was update and clean out my TiVo. Why? Because it is media deprivation week. And I gotta tell ya, I'm kinda freakin' out!!!

What that means is that there is to be no exposure to mass media for the whole week. Nothing with words to clog our own creative pathway. That means obviously no TV and no radio except for classical or jazz background music. No newspapers. No magazines. NO BOOKS EVEN!!! No internet surfing, checking email is allowed as is anything work related. But otherwise, no media to get in the way of creating or thinking about creating.

I totally get the purpose of the assignment. But that doesn't mean I'm not very wary of it. Although, when I lived in Prague I experienced a sort of involuntary mass media deprivation as far as broadcast media was concerned. And I enjoyed it. So much so that I didn't own a TV for about a year after I moved back to the states. I read sooo much more and was so much more aware of my surroundings. But that was a long time ago and media has not only crept back into my life but apparently has taken over.

I'm looking forward to the experience in one respect but terrified on another. I know for certain that I am dependent on mass media. I love my shows. If it's Tuesday, it is "Gilmore Girls," "Amazing Race," "House," "Boston Legal" and "The Shield." Wednesday, "Project Runway" and "Lost." Thursday, "The OC" and best of all Sunday with "Grey's Anatomy" and now "The Sopranos." But not this week. Hence the TiVo preparedness.

TV is not my only addiction to media. I start and end my days with NPR and even sometimes in the middle of the night. If I wake up and can't get immediately back to sleep, I set the radio to snooze and turn on BBC news. First thing in the morning I listen to "Morning Edition." On the weekends, forget it. It's all about "This American Life," "Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me" and of course Scott Simon on Saturday and Liane Hansen on Sunday.

During the day while I am working, my ipod is in it's Bose Sounddock and set to shuffle and at 2 p.m. I take lunch and watch my story, "Passions."

And I didn't even mention the newspaper, two on Sunday, and the periodic check of my homepage, CNN.com.

Oh yes, and reading before bed, with the radio on of course, is the only way I can get to sleep.

Basically, there is never any silence in my house. I can't stand silence. It frightens me.

And that is why media deprivation week frightens me. I will be confronted by silence and will be able to clearly hear what is going on in my head.

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!! How long will I make it?