It's Over

I turned on my TV at 2:30 p.m. today. It felt weird, like I was doing something clandestine.

What happened was, I was up again all night with poor little Lucy and I knew that if I didn't take a nap, I'd never make it to my Artist's Way class, which by the way I'm so glad I didn't miss because it was a great class. Anyway, I knew I was going to sleep and it just so happened when I went to take a nap it was 2:30 and I thought, "Hmm. I'll just see what's happened on 'Passions' since I've been gone."

So I turned it on and guess what? I was bored silly. It was the same day in Harmony as when I had turned it off over a week ago. They were still wearing the same clothes, still talking about the same things, still having the same soap opera crises. This is what I've been wasting my time on? Yuck! I turned it off.

My synchronicity tonight was at class a guy came and did singing exercises with us, Jami Lula is his name. Now some of it was the silliest stuff I've ever done in my life and at one point I got a bad case of the giggles but at the end of class he sang a song and the refrain went, "I will not waste another minute of my life." I hadn't put it into those words when I turned the TV back off this afternoon, but when I heard him sing it, I knew it was talking to me.

Now, will I waste another minute of my life? Most probably. But will I try to be more cognizant of my time? Most certainly. I hope that if I am wasting time, I am doing it purposefully. Meaning, I will have thought to myself, "Yes, I could be doing something more productive right now, but what I feel I need is to do nothing. To veg out. To waste some time." And hopefully, more often than not I will say to myself, "Could I be doing something more productive with my time" and then choose to do it. But whichever way I go, it will be a considered choice - not just escapism, laziness or habit.

And surprise, surprise. When I got in the car after class tonight. I turned on the radio which was still on the classical music station and I left there. Guess what? I like classical music. Not all of it of course, but I don't like all rock music either. And I learned a lot about classical music this week, heard different composers, different orchestras and I even listened to a whole opera.

And guess what else? When I got home from class tonight, I didn't turn on the TV. I didn't turn anything on except the computer to write this. And tonight when I go to bed, I'm taking a book with me. Now I may watch "The Daily Show." But then off will go the TV again and the book will be opened. I may read one page, I may read a chapter or the whole book. I may even open the book and stare into space. But I won't be watching TV.

If I get nothing out of this class other than the experience of turning off the TV and learning to live without it and use my time more productively and creatively, it will all have been worth it. I have learned so much from this experience and while I dreaded this assignment and thought I could never do it when it was handed out, I've loved every minute of it. Even the hard moments. And yes, I would do it again. And I just might!