Hot Stuff

I have never been to Las Vegas, well at least until last week. It was my brother's birthday and he wanted to have a lowkey celebration so 15 of his closest friends set out for a Vegas extravaganza birthday weekend.

I must say it was a blast but also somewhat of a culture shock. The words "over the top" were most definitely coined for Vegas. Everything is LARGE and bright and flashy and well ... over the top. The whole time I was there I couldn't help thinking that conservation was not a word in any dictionary in the Las Vegas metropolitan area. I can only imagine how much water is used in a day, even an hour!

That said, I could have moved into my hotel room at The Hotel at Mandaly Bay. It had three flatscreen TV's, 3!!! One in the living room, one in the bedroom and one in one of the bathrooms. Oh yes, two bathrooms, on for guests I guess. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

And the main bathroom had a waterfall tub as well as a shower with a rainshower head. Sunday morning I woke up and took a bubble bath while watching David Beckham lead the England team to victory in that day's World Cup match. Oh yes, David Beckham and a bubble bath. Yummy.

But the highlight of the trip, or maybe it was the lowlight, had to be the Donna Summer concert in the Barry Manilow theater at the Las Vegas Hilton. As we were driving in, we saw billboards advertising the concert and I must say, the photo was taken some years err centuries ago. But we've all grown a little long in the tooth since the heyday of the disco era.

Oh, did I mention that the Go-Go's were playing that same night on the Beach at Mandalay Bay? (Yes, I know Vegas is in the desert but Mandalay Bay has built a beach complete with a pool that simulates waves for body surfing. I told you, water, water everywhere!) I really wanted to do that but didn't think it would be nice to ditch the group.

So myself and 14 guys headed off to the concert of the year (or so her backup singers told us). OK. I know Vegas is cheesy just by its nature but this was cheeseball squared. First, Donna kept us waiting for 45 minutes and the crowd that looked like it had just come straight off the tourist bus from somewhere in the middle of America, was getting restless.Then an announcer came over the loudspeaker and said that there were technical problems and she would be out in 15 minutes (one of our group thought he said 50 minutes and headed for the blackjack tables and missed most of the show.)

I had declined a drink when we first sat down but decided it was definitely time to start drinking.

Finally the band, and I use that term loosely struck up a tune that sounded vaguely familiar and I realized it was an orchestral montage of her greatest disco hits. Now, remember, Donna was the queen of disco. I was like, "oh, I forgot she did that song and that song and that song" so I was getting excited.

Unfortunately, she wants to be taken seriously so instead of just doing a whole show of her disco classics, which would have been awesome, she threw in some ballads even attempting a Sade song.

To be fair, I have to say that her voice is terrific and still as strong as ever. She can belt it out. And when she did her classic hits, the crowd was on it's feet dancing and singing and then she would tone it down to a more serious song and the crowd would sit down again. It felt like being at Kol Nidre services.

Oh, and speaking of religion, apparently she found God so she doesn't do "Love to Love You, Baby" anymore which I have to say was a bit of a relief because at the risk of sounding incredibly sexist and ageist, I think it would have been a little creepy to see her at this stage of her life writhing around simulating orgasm.

Oh, and the funniest thing was that while our crowd was largely of the age to have danced to Donna Summer back in the day, two of our party were still of a tender age and had blank faces when she broke into "She Works Hard for the Money," "Bad Girls," "Dim all the Lights" and "Macarthur Park."

Oh, wait, I forgot. Actually, the funniest thing was the announcer kept calling her Donna Summers, with an 's'.

But all cynicism and sarcasm aside, it was a fun night and a trippy trip down memory lane.

Toot Toot, hey, Beep Beep!

P.S. I have some great photos but can't upload them for some reason. ARGH!!!